For the 4th time that hour it replayed in my mind. But the more I pressed rewind, the more I altered the details.
I remember facing this weird, Eve/Serpent moment in my life where I was questioning what God really said in the first place. Now more than ever, I needed Him to repeat, reaffirm, and give me a sign that this promise that I thought I heard wasn’t just a figment of my imagination.
Smack dab in the middle of the most traumatizing event of my life, when I needed him the most, God decided to remain quiet.
I’ve avoided writing this post for a while now. Maybe because I’m petrified of falling in love.
Or maybe it’s because I’m selfish.
There. I said it.
My feet wouldn’t touch the ground.
Okay, maybe I wasn’t exactly defying Newton’s law of gravity but my life sure felt like it.
I remember reaching a place in my twenty-somethings where everything seemed gray. I was floating. Dreams and plans that were once confidently black or white, turned into a nauseating shade of gray and left me wondering how God’s faithfulness played in this.
This is a story all about how my life got twist-turned upside down…
Something magical happened in 2016.
I can’t exactly put my finger on it. And I can’t exactly give you the krabby patty secret formula as to how it happened. Just know it happened.
There’s an unwritten rule in the church that prohibits tears.
I’m not exactly sure where this rule stemmed from. But somewhere between my baptism and sophomore year of college when I failed Accounting with Professor Fairchild, I learned Christians shouldn’t cry.