I contemplated writing this post for the past week. Not because I didn’t have enough material, but because it so close to home.
So in writing this post, I’m really writing to myself. And in reading this post, I hope God does His thing with both of us.
Here’s the reality. Are you ready?
God is not enough for you
Regardless of what it is you struggle with, we can safely conclude one thing: you keep going back.
Like a drug, there’s a high attached to it that keeps us coming back for more.
But no matter how many times we go to the alter, no matter how many tears are shed, no matter how many times we “give it over to God”- we still choose it.
Maybe not immediately after.
It’s usually never immediately after.
But eventually you forget.
You forget your prayer.
You forget how icky you feel after.
You forget the tears.
You forget the promise you made to God.
And you do it again.
The reality of this cycle is that God is not enough for you. Im not doubting your relationship with God. That’s not my call.
But your search for satisfaction outside of the fountain that never runs dry means either:
1.) You’ve walked away from the fountain or
2.) The water is no longer satisfying to you
Matthew 5:6 is great at bringing your tastebuds into conviction. If your hunger and thirst isn’t for righteousness, then something/someone has been placed on God’s pedestal.
It’s when God becomes boring and monotonous that we start searching for the trees that we’re not suppose eat from.
I think that’s why the vulnerability of the Psalmist is so appreciated in Psalm 51:12a
“Restore unto me the joy of my salvation…”
There’s danger ahead when your relationship with God becomes routine. When the initial joy is no longer present, you’ll find yourself becoming codependent on your sin for happiness.
We love the idea of a God who provides but not the idea of a God in authority.
We want the spouse but don’t want to give our lust to God.
We want a marriage but don’t want to the consequences that come with selfishness.
We want a relationship, but want to be the exception to the rule when it comes to dealing with our pride.
We hate authority. No one ever wants to be the pawn. No one ever wants to be the servant. No one ever wants to be on the other side of condescension.
We’re too prideful for those demeaning positions.
But your attempt to obtain both the blessing and keep the vice is an erroneous strategy and never works in the long run.
With blessings comes obedience. And sometimes that obedience requires sacrifice.
It won’t be easy, I’ll tell you that much. If your flesh could conquer sin by itself the work on the cross would have been in irrelevant.
That why God’s response to Paul’s cry for help over the one thing in his life he couldn’t seem to control in 2 Corinthians 12 , was more grace.
God didn’t expect Paul to do it by himself. God doesn’t expect you to do it by yourself.
He provides His grace, his strength to us if we would just ask.
Im praying for you