To the person who gained pain by giving love, this is for you.
So you’ve been hurt.
One of the most excruciating pains you’ve ever experienced in your life came from direction of someone you loved deeply. It didn’t click at first. But once the pain processed and made it’s way through you- you’ve never been the same again.
Now vulnerability has a sour taste in your mouth. Your heart’s instinct sets up a strongman of bitterness, resentment and pride because there is no way you’re going to let anyone touch that part of your heart again.
You don’t think you’re wrong. And I get it. Daddy issues, relationship issues, broken homes, infidelity – you have every right. No one knows what you’ve really been through or the thoughts you had to wrestle with in order for sanity to win. You are entitled to act the way you do. You’ve been through so much and everyone deserves to feel the same pain you felt, you feel, right?
In the midst of the mental chaos going inside of your head, there are two parties being detrimentally affected by your unwillingness to let go.
- The people that actually love you.
Your kids, your current relationship, your family, your friends. The people that have stuck around, love you and do not have ulterior motives. Get this out your brain. You’ll find yourself subconsciously channeling your hurt to the people in your life that are innocent and vulnerable just like you were at one time. If you don’t break this cycle, it’ll be never-ending.
Your unforgiveness is hindering you from experiencing your best days yet.
Marvelous things in life come when you freely give yourself with no hidden agendas.
Suppressing the pain you feel isn’t freedom. Shutting off your thoughts by keeping yourself “busy” isn’t freedom either. Getting to the root of the issue and forgiving your baby’s father, forgiving your abuser, forgiving your ex for leaving – this is freedom. And I think you deserve it.
There’s a certain burden lifted off us when we deliberately choose to forgive. James 5:15 reassures us that there are some amazing feats that happen when we choose forgiveness.
15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.
Even the incurable doesn’t stand a chance against love and forgiveness.
Today, I dare you to choose your perspective. Choose forgiveness and move forward.
Here’s my challenge to you:
Pick a day this week to seclude yourself. Away from your kids, away from your phone. Play soft music if you have to.
Write down the memories that you recall vividly.
The hurt. The pain. What you felt. The thoughts that still haunt you. The shame. And your reasoning behind your actions.
Have you unknowingly become the person you said you never would? Do you possess the characteristics that you resented from the person that hurt you in the first place?
The key is to be honest with yourself and understand that you deserve healing.
I’m praying for you.